How many times a week do you peek into another woman’s home? TV and social media make it easy to see things we otherwise would never sees unless that person invited us over for dinner. I find that so strange, not in a completely negative way, but strange nonetheless.
So what say you? If you use social media daily, then you are seeing the inside of someone’s home daily. If you watch television daily, then you’re definitely seeing human abodes to some extent: whether it’s staged for a movie, perfectly cleaned for a camera crew, or maybe it’s just a green screen backdrop illusion.
We are constantly seeing other people’s homes. I feel like this is especially dangerous during an era wherein hosting and dinner parties are at an all time low. Television and media invites us into a home on screen, wanting us to believe it’s real place where people eat and sleep daily. Influencers, celebrities and regular folk alike are making day in the life, shopping haul, get-ready-with-me etc videos from the comfort of their kitchen, their closet, their bathroom.
We aren’t seeing someone’s kitchen because we are visiting for dinner, helping clean and storing away leftovers. We are seeing people’s kitchen because they are curating content and pressing record.
It’s easy to slip away from the actual content, and start glancing at their gorgeous light fixtures… and the floor to ceiling drapes over the 15 foot windows… and OMG how does anyone get their pantry so neat and organized?
You forget that you started watching the video for Best Last Minute Air Fryer Chicken Recipes, because you are thinking, “I wish my kitchen looked like that.”
I’ve been taking a long social media break, but let me tell you how the longing hit me lately.
On a recent Friday, I opened an email from a real estate newsletter for Virginia properties. I hadn’t intended to, but I started looking through the lists, and before you know it, I was on their website looking at houses.
I can be judgemental when it comes to homes. I feel like the market in Northern Virginia/DC is laughable. $600,000 will get you a shoebox in the hood or a very old condo in most zip codes. $800,000 is honestly where you have to aim just to get into a basic 1900s cottage with minor upgrades, a yard, and more than 2 bedrooms. It’s insane here.
Anyway, I say all that to say, I don’t judge older homes or regular non-fancy average Joe homes. They are timeless and they serve more than aesthetics. My judgement starts to kick in when I look at a house and think “They want a million dollars for THAT?” (and it’s literally a piece of crap).
So I’m scrolling through, seeing the insane price points that don’t match the quality of home or size of the yard… and I get the brilliant idea to raise the price range filter. Let’s see what I could theoretically get for $3 million dollars…
Little by little… I’m seeing how other folk live… these homes are staged so well, it invites you to start imagining your life there. That’s what a good property listing does. I started seeing all the features I wanted but seemed like they might be out of my range once we’re ready to buy.
Skylights in every room… claw foot soaker tub… a study with extensive built-in shelves…
A heavy feeling started pressing on me. Not like a rock, but more like honey or some other sticky liquid that, over time, hardens as it cools, and anything left in it’s path is doomed to be preserved forever in that pose. Like trying to swim in tar or wet sand.
I knew I needed to get out quick, or else.
I had to remind myself it’s Friday. I had to prepare for shabbat! That meant I needed to get my lazy tail up away from the computer, and focus on my own home. Except, my own home is a 750sqft 1 bedroom apartment where 3 people live 🙃, with a black refrigerator and a permanent chemical smell from the carpet treatment that was done right before we moved in.
Comparison almost killed my drive. It definitely tested me, that’s for sure. I went into the kitchen knowing I had a huge mess to clean, on top of all my unfulfilled daydreams of a custom Spanish style rustic terracotta kitchen with Japanese appliances. But when I walked into my kitchen, all I could do was admire my counter space, and be grateful that this kitchen is almost triple the size of our last kitchen, and that just across from the kitchen, our view overlooks the city… how could I be ungrateful?
When I started cleaning I was a bit on edge. But by the time I had washed dishes, mopped floors and folded laundry… it’s like Yah had given me supernatural eyes with a renewed view of my home. I remembered how much I loved my home, how blessed I truly was, how much I had prayed for this home, and how excited I was to move in– just four months ago.
Even my husband said, “Wow, our home really is so spacious!” As though he were seeing it for the first time. And though it’s only 750sqft, the layout is very smart and the ceilings are very high.
Two weeks earlier, I’d prayed for Yah to renew my eyes, to help me see life, home, and everything in between, with His eyes. I truly feel as though He’s answering that prayer. There are times when something that was once mundane to me, now feels special and worth cherishing, no matter how small.
Comparison ruins homemaking.
When I was constantly on social media and looking at other homes all day, my own home was slipping between the cracks.
Unfolded laundry on the couch for days… dishes unwashed at the end of the day… bedding unwashed, toilet unscrubbed…
But the builder grade kitchen is worth just as much love and attention as the custom kitchen. The vinyl flooring is worth as much love as the natural hardwood. The acrylic tub needs love just like the porcelain tub. The meals made with basic grocery chain ingredients are the same meals made with organic farm fresh ingredients.
Whatever my home looks like, wherever its located, no matter what kind of changes it needs… it’s still my home right now. And so, right now, it’s worthy of my love, faithfulness, and focus. Because it belongs to Yah. And if we are ungrateful with little, how can we expect Him to bless us with much?
“The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.”
2 Corinthians 9:6
