It took me three days to clean 1/3rd of my refrigerator. Maybe I got distracted, maybe I was lazy about it, maybe other things took priority… But I got the bottom shelves and drawers done, and I was so proud of myself.
I opened the fridge this morning and reached for the almond milk. That’s when I saw it: a sticky tar-like splash of something brown and gooey on the newly cleaned shelf that’s only been back in the fridge for 36 hours. One of my son’s cough syrup bottles had spilled on the fridge door and dripped onto the shelf!
For some reason, I thought, “This is what it’s like to go back to your vomit!”
Maybe Yahuah sometimes feels what I felt in that moment. Shock, investigative, and then, disappointment. Maybe He never feels any of those things, and I just have a wild imagination. But I can’t lie, it became clear to me in that moment, that going back to our vomit is like cleaning half your fridge, and right when you’re planning to clean the second half, you purposefully ruin the half that’s already clean! It’s just more work for no reason.
Why would someone purposefully do this? In our minds, we don’t do it on “purpose”. We only mean to enjoy to sinful pleasure again… but we don’t mean to destroy or harm or defile ourselves again. And that’s the thing about vomit… we only resort to it out of desperation for that “hit” but it doesn’t taste as good, and makes us even sicker. Like every addict says, you’ll spend the rest of your life searching for that first high. It’ll never come back. What you get instead is a tenure of torment that only gets worse and worse.
It reminds me of Yashuah’s Words about a spirit leaving a home and being purged by the tenant.
When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.”
Matthew 12:43-45
When we allow Yahuah to clean us, purge our filth, make us new, renew our minds in His Word and put us on the path of Anointing… what’s the purpose? Is it so we can re-invite the unclean spirits to a renovated home, or is it so we can offer our bodies as living sacrifices to Yahuah, our reasonable service (Romans 12)?
Why clean the fridge, and then put the old, rotten food right back in there? Why are you holding on? Why do you return to your vomit?
If Yahuah set you free, then you should be free indeed!
If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
John 8:36
