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Have you ever seen two “Israelite” women side by side, who appear the same, but you can just see which has been in the Truth far longer? They aren’t hard to distinguish if you’re observant enough. One has manners, a calmer demeanor, and just a little more grace. While the other… the fruit isn’t quite ripe just yet.

Although it’s unfortunate that this comparison is so evident, without comparison, there’s no real “set apart”. And that is the goal. To not just be good– to be Holy.

Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”

1 Peter 1:16

I remember, when first coming into the Truth, having no real idea of how to carry myself with the new knowledge that I am an Israelite. What should I wear? How should I speak? Where do I congregate? I was that unripe tree (and still am in many ways). Worst of all, I was bombarded with “rules” and mandates from various camps, teachers, and elders, like needing to bow before brothers in Truth, and which Bible translations I was allowed to read (pffft!).

While on my prayerful journey, I really struggled to not only uncover what it means to be an Israelite, but to behave as one, too. I want to share with you what has helped me be refined as a graceful, radiant daughter of YAHUAH, and what I think really sets apart “Israelite” women from women who are actually walking in Truth, to kick off a new class of content here on The Hebrew Housewife: Etiquette!

5 Things That Excellent Hebrew Women Do

She Prays Without Ceasing

Pray without ceasing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17

Sure, every religion promotes prayer of some type. But this walk isn’t about religion, ritual, or practices of discipline that we hope will get us into some luxurious afterlife or earn us favor. Our prayer isn’t an act of formality, or even requirement. Real true Biblical prayer is about connecting with our Husband & Redeemer, The Most High, lifting His Name, living in His Will, and getting what we need.

The excellent Hebrew woman prays without ceasing because she:

• knows she needs Him to show her which paths to take (Proverbs 3:5-8)
• knows she will get what she needs even if it’s not what she wants (1 John 5:14)
• has burdens that she can’t carry alone, and won’t dump her problems on her loved ones (Philippians 4:6)
• is thankful, grateful, and eager to glorify her Creator (James 5:13)
• needs His strength for her work (1 Chronicles 16:11)
• blesses those who curse her (Luke 6:28)
• constantly seeks wisdom from YAHUAH (Proverbs 14:1, Proverbs 4:6-7)
• is continually confessing her sin and looking for salvation (1 John 1:19)

Related: Finding Quiet-Time In A Busy Home

She Speaks With Honor & Discretion

When there are many words, transgression and offense are unavoidable, But he who controls his lips and keeps thoughtful silence is wise.”

Proverbs 10:19

Proverbs 10:19 sums it all up, but Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Ecclesiasticus (Sirach) make it very clear the wise one will watch her mouth, speak diligently, observe silence, refrain from talebearing and gossip, and speak kindly.

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” – Proverbs 31:26

Some great tips to speak with discretion and honor:

• Tell the truth, even when it’s dangerous or hurts
• Discern when it’s time to speak and when it’s time to be silent
• Refrain from cursing; not the usual profanities, but things such as “Go to hell”, “I hope they die/get sick”, etc.– actual curses. We don’t do that. We bless those who curse us (Luke 6:28) and trust Yah. Full stop
• Speak life as much as possible. After all, every bit of creation was created because “YAH said Let There Be…”
• Keep in mind that a tap cannot offer both sweet water and saltwater, nor can a mouth offer both worship to YAH and curses to the work of His Hands. Be hot or cold. Choose to either use your mouth for good or evil, and stick fast to that way (Revelation 3:15-16)
• Apologize when it’s needed and can set things right (even if you’re not wrong)
• Remember that your mouth can get you into serious trouble, and always think twice
• You can’t erase a single word you’ve ever said, so choose each one with the utmost consideration especially when having a disagreement
• NEVER disclose someone else’s private information, whether you heard it through the grapevine, or a friend confided in you. Gossip is so ugly
• Don’t provoke people to jealosy, envy, anger or tempt them to sin
• Keep private matters private: your lady problems or unbecoming information that should only be shared with your doctor, husband, or someone who is preparing to pray for you. There’s power in not being fully discovered by humans

She Carries Herself With a Shameface

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; ¹⁰ But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

1 Timothy 2:9-10

This one may be a little tricky, since the word “Shamefaced/Shamefast” is archaic and is lost in translation. The general idea is that we refrain from haughtiness.

You know, staring down men, eye-rolling, initiating conversation with men that isn’t for business or authorized by your head, and being masculine in general.

A graceful, holy woman of YAHUAH has a shameface on, and believes in humility. She:

• tries to keep her chin tucked and nose out of the air
• stays out of men’s business, spaces, and conversation
• knows when to leave a room or excuse herself
• handles her hygiene in private (nose picking, headwrap fixing, perfume spraying, etc)
• refrains from makeup or keeps makeup natural
• uses social media moderately, and NEVER overshares
• is quick to flee from folly, strife, arguments, and the face of wrath
• lets her yays be yays and her nays be nays!
• apologizes when she is wrong, and even sometimes, when she isn’t
• doesn’t make a lot of noise when she enters a room and for the duration of her stay
• never laughs at others, whether in their face or behind their back, no matter what

She Dresses Modestly

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; ⁴ But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Don’t read this and think you need to be plain. In fact, historically and Biblically, Israelite women were always well adorned, maintained, and beautiful. But the Word makes it very clear: beauty is in vain (Proverbs 31:30)

There’s a time and place for everything under the sun. A time to dress up, a time to be simple. Discernment is the key, and modesty is the threshold: together, you can’t go wrong no matter the occasion!

(this applies to public-wear; but when dressing for your husband, anything goes)

A holy modest Hebrew woman tries to:

• keep her cleavage covered
• refrain from form-fitting clothing
• choose dainty, fine jewelry over excessive, large pieces (less is more with jewelry)
• know her shape and figure, and dress accordingly
• cover her thighs (anything above the knees)
• cover her head when appropriate
• doesn’t go overboard with perfume, body glitter, or jewelry
• smile whenever possible

Related: 10 Practices to Enhance Your Modesty for Israelite Women

She Treats Everyone The Way She Hopes to Be Treated

Finally, the excellent Hebrew woman upholds the Golden Rule:

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

Luke 6:31

Or, do unto others what you would have them do unto you.

The excellent woman doesn’t want another woman flirting with her husband, so she doesn’t flirt with any man. She doesn’t want someone to laugh when she’s struggling, so she doesn’t laugh at anyone. She doesn’t want anyone to ever falsely accuse her of something, so she never points her finger amiss.

Judgment is likened unto a ring according to 2 Esdras 5:42— what goes around comes around because Yah is just! But the holy woman isn’t fair just because she wants to play safe, she’s fair because she knows she must avoid hypocrisy where possible!

She chooses kindness, loyalty, discretion, respect, fellowship, truth, and servitude when dealing with others, because this is what she desires for herself. And who is she to expect these things, if she doesn’t offer them in return? A hypocrite!

If you only take one thing from this little list, let it be that we are called to be Holy women. If at any point, you appear just like all the women around you, whether Jew or Gentile, check yourself. The idea is to be ✨ noticeably different✨ in everything. Where others are loud and boastful, be silent and humble. When others are hard and unforgiving, be kind and merciful. Where others laugh and mock, be helpful and compassionate. When others are on the broad way, stay on the Narrow Path!

I hope you greatly benefit from this post in YAHUAH. I’m looking forward to sharing more Holy Etiquette with you! As always, have a blessed week! Shloma!