I would be a liar if I said I don’t get overwhelmed sometimes. With cleaning, with cooking, or with everything else to which I must tend within my home.
Learning to manage stress hasn’t been easy, especially since I’ve struggled with depression and isolation most of my life. Stress would overwhelm me so much to the point of attacking my immune system— it gave me cysts and boils!
I used to think something was gravely wrong with me. But Yah revealed to me that it was stress. At first I was hesitant to believe it was that simple. But it makes sense.
Israelite women (in the USA) are dying the youngest and fastest from stress related conditions, like heart attacks, strokes, cancer, and many others. As a young girl, I watched my 31 year old single mother be hospitalized after having a heart attack. I also watched HER mother, my organic-diet having, routine-exercising grandmother develop a brain tumor.
We struggle with vulnerability, rest, and quiet-time, because most of us carry so much, from motherhood, to bills, to marriage, and childhood trauma.
It’s time to [gently] fight back against stress, because, well, as an Israelite woman, your life depends on it.
Here are 10 things you can do when you feel overwhelmed.
Pray
I know what you’re thinking: “I already do that, sister Asha!” Of course you do. But I beg, are you praying like an Israelite or are you praying like a true believer?
We often offer up formulaic prayers without clearly communicating our needs to Yah— maybe because we think He’s done enough for us, maybe because we think our problems are too small for Him to be bothered. We pray, irresponsibly, with the idea that if He wants to fix it, He will, and if He won’t then oh well.
That’s how a slave would think. But a DAUGHTER, a true believer of YAHUAH THE MOST HIGH GOD, knows her Father is always thinking of her, that He anticipates her needs, and that He is capable of giving her a clear and seamless path and escape.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
- Proverbs 3:5-6
His Word says those who put their trust in Him will NEVER be put to shame (Romans 10:11). If we don’t walk into prayer with this wholehearted belief, then we need to just save our prayers until we’re ready to believe He can do what He says He can do!
Tips for effective prayer:
- Fast (even for a few hours— from food, social media, or even from talking)
- Be in a quiet, private place
- Enter the prayer first with thanksgiving and praise (Psalm 100:4)
- Write them if you must
- Affirm His power
- Prostrate ( on your knees, on your hands, or even completely flat on the ground)
Read Scripture
Again, I know what you’re thinking! You already do this. But something I find helpful in getting more from Scripture are these 2 things:
- Ask Yah to speak to me before I open His Word
- Seek out people or situations in the Word that look like my life, and take notes on the way Yahuah resolved it
One of the requests I had for years was a husband. I would pray, pray, pray for a husband. One day I finally asked Yah what He wants from me in order to make this happen. He instructed me to open His Word.
I thought that was redundant. Like, duh, now what???
But how was I supposed to become fit for marriage if i wasn’t being renewed? And how could I be renewed if I wasn’t fully giving Him my mind?
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. – Romans 12:2
I opened His Word and He showed me Ruth, and Abigail— two women who became wives in unorthodox but holy ways. From reading about and studying their journeys toward marriage, I learned that a) just because my life or path doesn’t look like the traditional or standard route to marriage, it doesn’t mean Yah isn’t working. On the contrary, the fact that my life looks completely different from anyone else’s was evidence that it CAN ONLY BE Yahuah at work, The Holy of Holies. And b) we meet our husbands in odd but divine ways in odd but divine time.
You are not the first person to need Yah for something. Abraham needed a child. Naomi needed a family redeemer. Hannah needed healing from barrenness. Adam needed a companion like unto himself. Israelites needed to be freed from slavery countless times. David needed a defense against those constantly pursuing his life.
Reading Scripture can reveal to you that He has done it before, and He can do it again. This gives us hope, and hope is sometimes the only thing that keeps the heart from fainting.
“but those who hope in YAHUAH will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
There is likely someone in the Bible who needed what you currently need. And that person most certainly saw His Face when they sought Him.
We are inspired, edified, comforted, protected and healed by His Word. It is our greatest defense, closest friend, and most accurate compass in navigating life.
Be intentional when you open His Word so you can see Him, not just a series of events.
Remove triggers from your life
What’s stressing you? Money problems? An unkind husband? World events?
We certainly can’t ignore the problems we have, nor can we make them disappear just because they’re stressful for us.
But what we CAN do is put them away for an appointed time.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8
Think on things that are lovely.
Remember Romans 12 says we are transformed not by works or deeds, but by the renewing of our minds.
Turn off the TV & social media. Stop letting the world, its people and its problems tell you how to think or what to believe.
Take accountability for your life by shielding your mind and filling it with lovely thoughts! This may seem like a worthless endeavor, until you actually give it a chance and ask Yah what you should be thinking about instead of thinking about your husband, the bills, or politics.
What makes your stress worse?
I know what makes my stress worse— thinking about how stressed I am and talking about these stressful things with other people.
Instead I choose to be like a babe on the breast, aloof, enraptured, and completely subdued by the sweet Milk of my Heavenly Father. All through giving Him my mind. It makes all the difference.
Don’t have mind on the things that are sure to pass away. Behold, He makes a new thing.
“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19
Go outside, have a walk, or open the windows
is there anything more beautiful than nature besides our Father? He says Heaven is His throne and the earth is His footstool (Isaiah 66:1). We live in such a glorious place, and yet we choose to be in our heads most of the time.
Why is that? Maybe we think the prison of our minds is safer than the wildness of the earth, but it isn’t.
“The lazy man says, “There is a lion outside! I shall be slain in the streets!” Proverbs 22:13
We can’t be allergic to the outdoors if it is Yahuah we seek. He called His servants to mountains, out to sea, into the wilderness. They saw Him in burning bushes, while baptized in lakes, beside water wells, in the dessert.
I’m not saying you have to do a 10 mile hike in order to benefit from nature. You could simply open your windows and Yah will be with you.
What I am saying is that nature has been proven to be the biggest mood booster and medicine, followed by smiling, and exercising!
The earth is our greatest resource! We were given dominion over it, to subdue it and grow it, but it was also created as a paradise for us, a garden overflowing with life and beauty. We have a responsibility to benefit from it just as much as we need to care for it.
This can also be applied to simple exercise. Are you moving your body? Are you making sure oxygen is reaching every part of your body (this can only happen with increase flow of blood)? Are you physically tense?
When I go for a light walk, open my windows, or even just play nature sounds in my home, I feel relieved. There’s nothing like His Footstool. If you’re overwhelmed, visit nature in one way or another.
Take a nap
“But I have things to do and children to care for!”
Okay, this may be true. And napping definitely won’t make your problems go away. Moreover, I’m certainly not suggesting that you crawl into bed every time you feel overwhelmed.
I am simply offering up a luxury that is always readily available.
When I’m menstruating, my home feels especially daunting, what with my cramping and heightened emotions. You know what I do? My best.
I do my best in the morning, take a nap in the afternoon, and try to maintain my home after waking up again.
Similarly, when I’m overwhelmed (and not menstruating), I do my best, pray, read, and close my eyes, even for just 15 or 30 minutes!
Why? Because I’m human. The luxury is mine. It’s free. And life is not all about work.
We read about the Proverbs 31 woman and think we need to become a super wife! Proverbs 31 is an outline, an encouragement, and prescription for women who want to be proverbial, men who want proverbial wives, and the Body as a whole in order to be a good wife unto YAHUAH according to Isaiah 54, Hosea 2, and Rev 21.
It was not written to condemn us though. YAH is graceful with us and sees our vulnerabilities as women. Our hormonal cycles are different from men, and we have more energy at certain points during the month than we do during others. The way He created us is without flaw, our need for greater rest than men is not a flaw.
This is something I speak about in my Biblical Femininity podcast, Watered Womanhood, but we need to stop fighting against our own biology if we want to live in peace with our bodies, families, and communities. One of the best ways to do this is rest when you need it.
So maybe you don’t lay down for a nap. Perhaps you pause and have silence for a little while, or maybe you just put the work aside and enjoy something recreational for a moment with your children. You have this opportunity readily available, because you’re the homemaker, not the slave!
When you allow your home and work to enslave you, you will become bitter and resentful towards the blessings you have.
Sometimes, work can wait. Homemaking is more than chores. Homemaking is about Yah, family, and fellowship.
Make a List
Hey girl, heeeyyy! Make a list!
A list of things you need to do, a list of things you hope to do, a list of reasons you hate Walmart (like me), a list of adjectives you’d use to describe your favorite type of weather, a list of worst names you can think of.
Chile, make a list! Preferably one that is relevant to the things you’re going through. But I also encourage silly lists, too, just to lighten your mood.
Make a list of things that are worrying you, a list of things you often forget about, a grocery list, a personal wishlist of things you’d buy or ask for if the money was there. Make a list.
The idea is to slow down, put a pen in your head, and get some thoughts out. Make a little more room in your head by decluttering what’s in there.
Lists are small ways to regain a little control in our crazy lives, even if we don’t use them or even apply them to our time. Simply writing them out is recreational, can inspire new things, and helps us remember to breathe.
Here’s an idea: make a list of all the things Yah could do or say to you right now that would make you feel at ease again!
Or, make a list of Scriptures that mention the word ‘home’.
Go all out, or be very plain. Any list you can make, simply make it.
Ask for help
You’ve got children, neighbors, a husband, parents, siblings, cousins, and best of all, the Holy Spirit.
You’ve got help. No man is an island, and a two chord strand is not easily broken!
Ask.
“For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” – Matthew 7:7
Home is a huge battlefield to try to take on all by yourself. That’s why Titus 2 commans older women to help us with instruction and teaching!
It’s okay to need help, and it’s wise to be able to step back, look at the chaos, and be willing to admit, “I need help.”
It’s okay, I promise. Sometimes people can extend their help, sometimes they can’t. When we ask for help, we need not be concerned with whether we’ll be rejected. We need only ask. This type of vulnerability is healthy and necessary for our femininity to flourish!
Here’s the thing: giving is a spiritual benefit FOR the giver. Givers are blessed and the act of giving is blessed. By asking for help, you may be blessing others who are seeking an opportunity to GIVE!
We are a community, and we thrive when we act like one.
Whether your family needs money, help with laundry, home repairs, or simple prayer, Yah can surprise you with a helping hand when you least expect it.
Plus, many of us think we need to be like the Proverbial woman who did everyone on her own. But even she had servants, honey. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Ask for guidance from your Husband
Oop!
He’s the head of household. He’s the lord and master of his domain. And, it’s also his God-Ordain Responsibility to give his life for you the way Christ gave His life for the Body (Ephesians 5:25).
Don’t wait until things are disastrous before you’re willing to tell your husband. Be a good helpmeet by being proactive and sharing your feelings, problems and challenges with your husband before they subdue you.
We often think submission is following our husbands orders when he gives them. But when was the last time you actually sought out your husband’s leadership on a matter, without his initiation?
Books are good. Prayer is perfect. Videos, podcasts, friends and Google are great resources. But you aren’t one body with those things or people. You are one body with your husband. And you owe it to your other half to communicate clearly, and challenge your husband to grow in his leadership by sharing the reality with him!
This will also demonstrate to your children that you respect your husband, and that their father is a dependable, trustworthy and capable man that they can always look to.
Additionally, you might learn something new about your husband, or even witness YAHUAH work a miracle through him, which will increase your attraction to him and enhance bedroom intimacy.
You are not burdening your husband, and refusing to submit your problems or feelings to YAHUAH through your husband communicates 3 things:
- I don’t think my husband is strong enough
- I don’t trust my husband with my life
- I think Google, podcasts, or friends are more qualified to lead me than he is
These are the three perfect ingredients for a disastrous marriage.
The truth is that your imperfect husband cannot resolve everything. But he is your companion, and sometimes all you might need is a hug, some lovemaking, a massage, or a few words of encouragement from the one with whom you’ve entered a covenant!
Use Aromatherapy
It has been proven to work. From food, to flowers, to herbs, certain smells trigger certain feelings in us.
Not only that, but smells aren’t just air we inhale into our lungs. Smells are produced by chemical matter that, simply put, lands in our nostrils, get absorbed into our blood, travel through our body, go to our brain, and end up in the same place where we process memories.
Isn’t that amazing? HalleluYAH. We are made in His image.
Yahuah loves smells, too. You know His favorite smell? Food.
Fire roasted meat to be specific, which is how we would prepare offerings to Him.
He calls it a “Sweet-smelling savor”. How beautitul.
What if He enjoyed the sacrifice just for the aroma it sent to His Throneroom? Is that so wrong?
Smells can make us feel GOOD. Don’t believe it? Let some milk or yogurt rot in the hot sun and smell it— your mood will be quickly ruined.
Some smells make us think of sleepy Sundays at grandmas where we felt safe and seen. Some smells make us think of autumn, where we stay inside and get cozy by a fire. Some smells remind us of our baby, their softness, beauty, and gentleness.
What do you want to feel? What do you want to be reminded of?
You are the curator of your home. This is your domain. The smells you choose (or allow) will impact the people dwelling with you, as well as your own mind.
Some essential oils I recommend placing in your home:
- Sandalwood for calmness
- Lavender for relaxation
- Rose for fighting inflammation
- Eucalyptus for purifying the atmosphere and your blood
- Peppermint for refreshing and regrouding
- and my favorite, ylang ylang, for mood boosting (it’s also an aphrodesiac, meaning it can stimulate sexual desire).
Rest on the Sabbath
It’s a commandment, not a suggestion or recommendation. A commandment. We are commanded to rest.
“Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest: in earing time and in harvest thou shalt rest.” Exodus 34:21
Need I say more?
I truly hope this has been informative for you and that you find your strength on The Rock. Submit a prayer request today, I’d love to pray for you!
Absolutely LOVED this read sis. Very encouraging as a Wife plus new Mommy. Continue to do God’s work. Looking forward to the next! ????