Hephzibah
Femininity Journal Club — a soft place to lay down the noise, remember you are His Delight, and come home to yourself, one page at a time.
What is the noise you find hardest to turn off? Identify the mental distractions — the worry, the planning, the replaying of old conversations — that keep you from the good stuff found in silence. What would it cost you to lay them down, even for an hour?
The audio above isn’t a reading of what’s below — it’s its own reflection. Here’s what I wrote when I actually sat down with this week’s prompt.
When I go silent, or try to… the most persistent noise in my head is a voice telling me I have too much to do. Not just immediate today things (laundry, cooking dinner, etc) but in life (people to contact, a business to run, a home I need to buy, debts to pay off, books to write, books to read)…
Sometimes the other voice is questioning I’m a fraud, that ill never be what I think I am, or what I hope to be. Admittedly I rarely sit in silence long enough for these thoughts to have any impact. But sometimes, as im trying to fall asleep at night, that’s what I’m thinking.
I’m not who I say I am, I’m a fraud, a bad mom, a whore, an imposter…
It’s like carrying a boulder, these thoughts burden me when I cook and clean. “I’ll never cook as good as so and so…my husband doesn’t really like this… I’m not cleaning right…”
Even when it comes to art and hobbies, my innervoice is so critical and mean. I always feel like I’m running out of time. That theres a million things to do, and I MUST be accomplishing at least one thing at any given moment. I know this is a slave mentality, as though Master is going to whip me at any sign of me slacking off. I know thats know who Yahuah is…
Resting is hard. Relaxing is hard. Simply being is hard, and it shouldn’t be. It’s not supposed to be this hard.
— RaabashaJuly Slow-Down Bingo Card
A playful printable to help you build a little stillness into your everyday July. Yours free, no strings.
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