(feel free to skip ahead to the free bingo card at the end ????❤)
Do You Share Your Peace With Your Husband – or Just Your Pain?
At last I have seen what is good and beautiful: It is to eat and drink and to enjoy the good in all our hard work under the sun during the brief lives YAH EL gives us. That is our portion in life.
Ecclesiastes 5:18
The Most High and your husband are very similar in one area:
They don’t just want to deal with you when you have a problem you need fixing.
Don’t misunderstand me: They are more than glad to be there for you, and show up as your Fixer.
However, if this is the only time you show your face or open your mouth or seek them in general…Are they your lovers or your sugar daddies?
More importantly, does this feed peace in your home, marriage, and relationship with HaYah?
I saw an Islamic quote on Instagram a few days ago:
“Ya Allah, I’m so sorry. I forget You when I laugh. But, You remember me when I cry .”
Are you that kind of wife?
You know how to find your husband when the tire is flat, when the kids need new shoes, when there’s something stuck in the dish drain, when you want a date night.
You know how to find your husband when you need to complain about your mother, cry about drama with your best friend, and to talk about the latest goings on.
But what about when you’re happy? When you’re in a good mood. When you finally get a coupon to your favorite store. When you get the kids down early for the night. When your first time with a recipe turns out perfectly. When you finally get what you prayed for.
Do you keep that to yourself? Share with a girlfriend? Write it in your diary?
Is your husband your emotional dumping ground or is he a sacred garden where you place both waste (compost) and water?
Many wives that I meet don’t know how to share their joy with their husbands, holding back for various reasons:
- fear that he’ll turn it into a rebuke or lecture
- resentment towards him due to lack of forgiveness
- wanting to preserve special moments alone
The last one isn’t inherently bad, but can be toxic if you keep the peace for yourself and don’t spare your husband any of the pain!
Your husband isn’t your drill sargeant, although as an Israelite wife I know first hand it may feel as such when you have a husband who cares about pleasing YAHUAH. But he doesn’t just want to rebuke you for gossiping, for not being on time with dinner, or doing something you had no business doing.
Our husbands also want to celebrate with us. They want to rejoice with us. They want to be merry and enjoy the wife of their youth!
Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 5:18
King Solomon is literally telling our husbands, enjoy intimacy with your wife, and take pleasure in her.
It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve been on this earth– if you can still smile and be glad in YAHUAH, you are a wife of youth and you do have an obligation to be joyful, cheerful, optimistic, enthusiastic, and content with your husband.
Don’t fall into the habit of keeping the peace all to yourself! I know what it’s like to run into the bathroom, lock the door, and hide there for a few hours to enjoy social media, a friendly chat, or my favorite show in peaceful solitude. Or wake up while everyone is asleep and eat the last of the ice cream. And trust me, I’m not encouraging you to never have anything to yourself, because you do need some things for yourself.
However, if you don’t share ANY moments of bliss, joy, and peace with your husband, and every time you interact with him, all you offer are complaints, needs, nag, nag, nag… you’re really offending the balance.
I’m guilty of this, so don’t feel alone. Here are a few simple ways to begin sharing peace with your husband.
1. Pray for Joy
“Ask ye, and it shall be given to you; seek ye, and ye shall find; knock ye, and it shall be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7
If you don’t have peace or joy to share with your husband, ask Yah for it! Or, ask Him to reveal the peace and joy already there, and help you to accept it.
If you’re overwhelmed by the world or life (or even the children), turn to Abba YAH for restoration (:
Sometimes, He doesn’t want to take the pressure, storm, or mountain away because He has a purpose for it. But He most certainly does want you to experience His Peace Which Surpasseth All Earthly Understanding, and that only requires a submitted mind.
Don’t forget, “Be nothing solicitous; but in every thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
2. Focus On Gratitude
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world: and certainly we can carry nothing out. But having food, and wherewith to be covered, with these we are content.” 1 Timothy 6:6-8.
Lack of contentment is the breeding ground for coveting.
According to the Wycliffe translation (the very first and oldest English Bible translation), the root of all evil is actually coveting, while majority of translations say it’s the love of money.
Are you so focused on your broken down car, your kids old hand-me-downs getting more worn and torn, or your husband’s seemingly endless checklist, that you can’t be content?
You wish this… You hope that… If only such and such…
Why is this the root of all evil? Because when we covet something we don’t have, we’ll either do anything to get it, make sure others don’t have it, or find a way to simulate a similar alternative, instead of trusting Yah.
Don’t allow coveting to steal your gratitude. No matter what, you have much to be thankful for. In fact, His Word says with food and clothes, we ought to be content.
3. Look for One Thing Each Day to Celebrate With Your Husband
“For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8
What is often the first thing you say to your husband when he walks in the door, or you speak to him for the first time that day?
Are you complaining or celebrating? Do you smile at him? Do you lovingly open your arms? Do you prepare to bathe to be be clean and smell good for him? Do you allow him to see you rejoice, be soft, or have beauty radiating from within?
You should be celebrating at least one thing every day. Have something GOOD, HOLY, JUST, PURE, LOVELY, AND SWEET to share– things with virtue, things that are fruitful.
It doesn’t need to be a pregnancy announcement or a monumental spiritual breakthrough (although it’s best to share these with your husband ????). But did you finally teach your daughter how to properly sit with her dress on? Or make some cookies without adding too much baking soda? Or were you able to enjoy Quiet Time without being interrupted?
Celebrate these things and celebrate them with your husband!
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
Don’t be another hedge of thorns in the wilderness to your husband. Who would embrace that?
Be a fruitful oasis springing with genuine laughter, joy, softness, and warmth. It’ll truly change his demeanor towards you.
4. Prioritize Peace Before Problems
“And rising up, he rebuked the wind, and said to the sea: Peace, be still. And the wind ceased: and there was made a great calm.” Mark 4:39
We often think if our problems go away, only then will we have peace.
But here in Mark 4, YAHUSHA shows us that it is PEACE that soothes the problems, not the lack of problems which cultivate peace.
Pursue peace– not perfection!
Before you concern yourself with a few harsh words your husband may have shared with you, before you get frustrated with the never-ending mess that’s somehow always in the kitchen even after you clean it over and over, before you raise your voice at the kids for tracking in dirt over your freshly mopped floor… tell yourself, tell your home, “Shalom, be still.”
I used to have awful anxiety. It wasn’t until I started praying for Yah to give me His Peace that I began to experience true deliverance. Especially in my heart. I was having severe palpitations that made me feel like I was having miniature heart attacks! But whenever they would begin, He led me to begin saying, “Shalom be still!” And Yah would be in the midst of those Words! AMEN.
If you wait for perfection to live your life, you will die without having ever lived! Have peace, eat and drink, be merry, and enjoy the short days of life that Yahuah has given you, for this is His gift to us! (Ecclesiastes 5:18).
Need a few more practical ways to share your most beloved, rested, watered peace with your Ish?
Download this FREE bingo card and aim for a total blackout (to cover all spaces) ????
Yaaay! I loved it and aim taking mental notes. YAH will always answer in due time. Shalowm family.